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17 / 5 / 2012 @ 19:27

So I got a bit of a dilemma.. used to date this guy… story of my life. You know things are good I like him a lot.. bada boom bada bing I’m starting to fall pretty hard for this kid.. So what do I do. I make up an excuse “Oh I’m leaving two months there’s no point in starting something..”

So life goes on he gives me an ultimatum you either be my girl or i’m leaving practically, okay maybe I’m exaggerating a little but that was the gist of what he was telling me. So I dip because being a prideful brat like I am I just say what ever I don’t need you type shit. Well he gets a new girl and after awhile I know I just know he’s happy with her. Yeah granted he still looks at me with those caring eyes but I know it’s nothing more than friendship stares ya know.

Haha so what do you do when you see a guy you liked, still like, with another girl. yeah you can tell him you still care and you’re a straight dumb ass for letting him go because you can’t cope with falling in love again in fear of losing the first love you ever had. If you’ve ever had a long relationship (2 years) girls/guys you know what I”m talking about.. that one person you measure everyone up to and when someone finally meets all those expectations (i.e. this guy I’m blabbing about) you’re like holy shit wtf do I do now, no more tests, no more bs… uh oh I might actually have to give this guy a chance because I can’t find anything wrong with him. Yep you know those people I’m sure for those of you in the dating scene… so what do you do. You can’t break them up cuz come one thats f**ked up… I mean granted yes you can tell them how you feel (i.e. what i did last night) but you know all you can do is say “Hey, I still like you and that’s that….”

Can’t really change something that has already been settled in a sense. I let that go, therefore, this is the consequence I have to deal with, do I regret it of course, but did I learn from it, most definitely. Will this bug me for awhile, ha shit probably, but now I know not to pass up opportunities because I’m afraid to lose something that is no longer mine either.